Forever 19

When someone I know dies they’re forever stamped as that age in my mind.

Is that normal?
I have no idea, but it’s how it’s always been for me.

Which is probably why my birth mom has forever been 19 yrs old in my mind.

She was 19 when she had me.

It was the first and the last time I knew her… for the next 28 years at least.

She didn’t physically die but her absence felt death-like for me.
So forever 19 she became.

I even remember being somewhat surprised the day that I reunited with her when she wasn’t a 19 year old girl. Although I knew full well that she wouldn’t be (because I’m not actually in denial) it was still a mindset shift that I worked through as I stared across the table at her.

And today is her birthday. (posted on Instagram July 27 2021)
She is officially 50!

I told her not to feel too bad about it though because lucky for her she’s forever 19 to me.

And I know you haven’t really seen her face around here yet as I’ve been trying to share my story in order. But today is a birthday exception since this past weekend we finally saw her for the first time in over a year. We went bowling and she was finally able to meet our squishy baby for the first time and the photo is simply too cute not to share.

h a p p y b i r t h d a y • We love you.

Now tell me adoptees…
Did you always think of your birth mom being the age she was when she placed you too?

LOVE, Jenni

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